Happiness and why I Don’t Care About it

by Sweets and Sweaters

“Are you happy?”

Someone who loves me asked me this question. It was the only thing she wanted to know.

The answer was no, but I answered “I think I’m getting there.” I wanted to give her the comfort and reassurance she sought, misleading or not. She asked as though it was the most important thing in the context of my life, but it didn’t sit right with me.

Why is the most important thing to you that I’m happy? What if I’m not happy, but I’m kind? Is that not important? What if I’m not happy, but I’m generous? Is that not important? What if I’m not happy, but I am creative and free? Is that not important?

We’re so hard up for happiness, the idea is even being sold to us.



It underlies almost all of our media and advertisements. Evidently we’re so desperate, advertisers think we’re dense enough to think buying their cars, happy meals and clothes will bring us happiness.

Even John Lennon believed in it, which is hard to dispute…


But all of life is about me finding happiness? Really?

To me, this is too selfish an ambition. It is not giving or connective enough. Happiness alone has not brought me closer to someone. A practice in empathy is what I care about. I care about being kind and generously loving. I care about having a heart that is receptive and open. It is the sweet spot of humanity. And though the journey is full of barriers, fears and ugly, ugly things and I will unlikely be happy on this path, I will, with each step gain understanding.

This kind of practice does not wear on our faces like a smile or sunny disposition for everyone to see and admire. It’s a gentle soul and to those who can feel it, it makes a world of difference.


So happiness. It comes when it comes and when it does, we enjoy it. When it doesn’t- who cares. We’ve got other work to do.